Chapter XIII


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Recollections and Letters of General Robert E. Lee
by Captain Robert E. Lee, His Son

Chapter XIII
Family Affairs

The General writes to his sons--To his wife at Rockbridge Baths--He
joins her there about once a week--Distinguished and undistinguished
callers at his Lexington home--He advocates early hours--His fondness
for animals

I had before this time gone to my farm in King William County and
started out in life as a farmer.  As there was nothing but the land
and a few old buildings left, for several years I had a very up-hill
time.  My father encouraged, advised me, and gave me material aid.
His letters to me at this time will show the interest he took in my
welfare.  In one written March 16, 1866, after advising me as to steps
to be taken in repairing an old mill on the place, he writes:

"I am clear for your doing everything to improve your property and make
it remunerative as far as you can.  You know my objections to incurring
debt.  I cannot overcome it....  I hope you will overcome your chills,
and by next winter you must patch up your house, and get a sweet wife.
You will be more comfortable, and not so lonesome.  Let her bring a
cow and a churn.  That will be all you will want....  Give my love
to Fitzhugh.  I wish he were regularly established.  He cannot afford
to be idle.  He will be miserable."

My brother Fitzhugh, here referred to, was negotiating to rent his
farm, the White House, to some so-called English capitalists, and had
not as yet established himself.  In another letter to me, of May 26,
1866, my father says:

"...I will state, at the outset, that I desire you to consider Romancoke
with its appurtenances your own; to do with as you consider most to
your interest; to sell, farm, or let; subject, however, to the
conditions imposed by your grandfather's will, as construed by the
decree of the Court of Appeals of Virginia, which declares, 'If the
legacies are not paid off by the personal property, hires of slaves,
rents, and sale of the real estate, charged with their payment, at the
end of five years, the portion unpaid remains a charge upon the White
House and Romancoke until paid.  The devisees take their estates cum

"The result of the war having deprived the estates of the benefit of
the hire of the slaves and the sale of Smith's Island, and the personal
property having all been swept off by the Federal armies, there is
nothing left but the land of the two estates named.  A court might
make some deduction from the amount of the legacies to be paid in
consideration of these circumstances, and I should think it would be
fair to do so.  But of that I cannot say.  Now, with this understanding,
make your own arrangements to suit yourself, and as you may determine
most conducive to your interests.  In confirming your action, as the
executor or your grandfather, I must, however, take such measures as
may be necessary to carry out the purpose of his will....  If you are
determined to hold the estate, I think you ought to make it profitable.
As to the means of doing so, you must decide for yourself.  I am unable
to do it for you, and might lead you astray.  Therefore, while always
willing to give you any advice in my power, in whatever you do you
must feel that the whole responsibility rests with you....  I wish,
my dear son, I could be of some advantage to you, but I can only give
you my love and earnest prayers, and commit you to the keeping of that
God who never forgets those who serve Him.  May He watch over and
preserve you.

                        "Your affectionate father,

                                   "R. E. Lee."

In another letter, of June 13th, after telling me of the visit of a
cousin of my mother's and how much gratification it was to have her
with them, he regrets that he son, who brought his mother up to
Lexington, had to hurry home on account of having left his wife and
little son:

"...When you have such pleasing spurs in your flanks, I hope you may
be on the fair road to prosperity.  All unite in love to you and
Fitzhugh.  Ask the latter if George has yet found a horse to trade with
the gray.  We miss him very much [my brother had recently visited
Lexington], and want to see you as badly.  You may judge how poorly
we are off.  The examination has commenced at Washington College.  Three
days are over successfully, and I hope to finish in twelve more. ----
has been up in two subjects, and not got thrown.  He has two more.
But, in the meantime, I am much occupied, and will be confined all day.
I have no time for letters of affection, so must tell you good-bye.

                      "Most affectionately,

                                 "R. E. Lee."

This was the first final examination at Washington College since my
father became its president.  He worked very hard, and was kept busy
attending to all the details and the putting into practice of several
new methods and systems he had introduced.

That summer he took my mother to the Rockbridge Baths, about eleven
miles from Lexington, to give her the benefit of the waters, which,
he hoped, might give her some relief from the continual pain she
suffered.  She did derive benefit, but, unfortunately, had a fall which
seriously impeded the improvement.  In reply to a note from my mother
telling him of her misfortune and asking him to send her some medicines,
he writes the following note:

                             "Lexington, Virginia, August 10, 1866.

"My Dear Mary:  On receiving your note, yesterday, I had only time to
get the arnica and send it by the stage.  I am very sorry that you
received such a fall, and fear it must have been a heavy shock to you.
I am, however, very thankful that you escaped greater injury, and
hope it is no worse than you describe.  I will endeavour to get down
to see you to-morrow evening, and trust I may find you somewhat relieved
from its effects.  We are pretty well here.  Many people are out of
town, and I have not seen those who are in.  Love to the girls.

                  "Truly and affectionately yours,

                             "R. E. Lee.

"Mrs. M. C. Lee."

My father was still very busy with his college work, and, after
establishing her there, spent most of the time in Lexington, riding
Traveller over to see her whenever he could get a spare day.  Among
the few letters preserved of those written to her at this time, I have
a note of July 16th:

"My Dear Mary:  I am glad to see by your letter of yesterday that you
are recovering so well from your fall.  I hope you may soon be well
again....  Caroline [the cook] got back this morning.  Left her daughter
better.  Says there is a very good girl in Lynchburg, from General
Cocke's estate, anxious to live with us.  I shall have more conversation
with her [Caroline], and, if satisfied, will write for her, by the
boat to-night.  Her father is in Lynchburg, and anxious for her to
come....  Tell Mrs. Cabell I am sorry to have missed seeing her.  Where
is Katie?  I wish she would send her to see me.  I will endeavour to
find some one to carry this to you.  Love to all.

          "Very affectionately and truly yours,

                             "R. E. Lee."

The mails in those days were not very direct, and private messenger
was often the surest and speediest method of letter-carriage.  In the
absence of my mother, my father was trying to better the staff of
servants.  Their inefficiency was the drawback to our comfort then,
as it is now.  Often the recommendation of some was only the name of
the estate from which they came.  A few days later, my father writes

                                "Lexington, Virginia, July 20, 1866.

"My Dear Mary:  I was glad to receive your note this morning, and
wish it could have reported a marked improvement in your health.  But
that, I trust, will come in time.  It has been impossible for me to
return to you this week, and, indeed, I do not see how I can absent
myself at all.  I shall endeavour to go to the Baths Monday, and hope
during the week you may be able to determine whether it would be more
advantageous for you to remain there or go further, as I shall have
to return here as soon as I can.  I can accomplish nothing while
absent.  Custis ahs determined to accompany Mr. Harris to the White
Sulphur Monday, and the girls seem indifferent about leaving home.
They ask, properly, what is to become of it?  Mr. Pierre Chouteau,
son of Julia Gratiot and Charles Chouteau, will hand you this.  He
will remain over Sunday at the Baths, and can tell you all about St.
.  I send such letters as have come for you.  I have no news.
The heat seems to extend everywhere, but it will be cool enough after
a time.  We are as usual, except that 'Aunt' Caroline [the cook] seems
more overcome, and Harriet [the maid] indulges in lighter attire.  I
fear Mrs. Myers had an awful time.  The Elliotts do not seem in haste
to leave town.  They are waiting for a cool day to go to the Natural
Bridge, and do not seem to have decided whether to go to the Baths
or Alum Springs.  We had an arrival last night from the latter place--
General Colquit and daughters.  They return to-morrow.  The girls
will write of domestic matters.  I received a letter from Rob at
Romancoke.  He is still taking cholagogue, but well.  Nothing of
interest has occurred.

                    "Affectionately yours,

                              "R. E. Lee."

Cholagogue was a fever-and-argue remedy of which I partook largely at
that time.  After this letter, my sisters joined my mother at the
Baths, my father still spending most of his time in Lexington, but
riding over to see them whenever he could.  He was very busy repairing
some of the old buildings of the college and arranging his work for
the next session.  Here is another short note to my mother:

                               "Lexington, Virginia, August 2, 1866.

"My Dear Mary:  Mr. Campbell has just informed me that Cousins George
and Eleanor Goldsborough are with you.  Tell them they must not go
till I can get to the Baths.  I think the waters of the latter will
do them as much good as anything they can try, and the sight of them
will do me great benefit.  I find here much to do, but will endeavour
to be with you to-morrow evening or Saturday morning.  Custis has just
come, but finding me occupied with builders, shook hands, got his
dinner, and left for the Institute.  So I do not know where he is from
or where he will go next.  Our neighbours are generally well, and
inquire for you.  Colonel Reid better.  Tell the girls, if I find them
improving, I will bring them something.  Remember me to Cousins George
and Eleanor and all the ladies.  I have about a bushel of letters to
answer and other things to do.

                  "Very affectionately,

                             "R. E. Lee."

On one of his visits to my mother, he took advantage of the comparative
quiet and rest there and wrote me a long letter, which I give her in

                                   "Rockbridge Baths, July 28, 1866.

"My Dear Robert:  I was very glad to see from your letter of the 2d
the progress you are making in your farm.  I hope things may move
prosperously with you, but you must not expect this result without
corresponding attention and labour.  I should like very much to visit
you, but it will be impossible.  I have little time for anything but
my business.  I am here with your mother, waiting to see the effects
of these waters upon her disease, before proceeding to the Warm Springs.
She is pleased with the bath, which she finds very agreeable, and it
has reduced the swelling in her feet and ankles, from which she has
been suffering for a long time, and, in fact, from her account, entirely
removed it.  This is a great relief in itself, and, I hope, may be
followed by greater.  I do not think she moves with more facility,
though I think she walks [on her crutches] oftener and longer than
heretofore, and probably with more confidence.  She has been her too
short a time to pronounce positively as to the effects of the water,
and will have to remain three or four weeks before we determine whether
she will go further.  I am unwilling for her to lose the whole summer
here unless it promises some advantage, and, after the middle of next
week, unless some marked change takes place, shall take her to the
Warm Springs.  Custis has gone to the White Sulphur, but expects to
be in Richmond on August 6th to meet Fitzhugh, with the view of going
to the Warrenton White Sulphur Springs in North Carolina, to witness
the erection of a monument over dear Annie, which the kind people of
that country have prepared for the purpose.  My attendance on your
mother, which is necessary, prevents my being present.  Agnes and
Mildred are here.  I think the baths have been beneficial to them
already, though they have not been here a week.  I will leave them
to describe the place and visitors.  I applied the dressing of salt
to the old meadow at Arlington with the view of renovating the grass.
I believe it is equally good for corn.  It was refuse salt--Liverpool--
which I bought cheaply in Alexandria from the sacks having decayed
and broken, but I cannot recollect exactly how much I applied to the
acre.  I think it was about two or three bushels to the acre.  You had
better consult some work on farming as to the quantity.  I would advise
you to apply manure of some kind to all your land.  I believe there
is nothing better or cheaper for you to begin with than shell lime.
I would prefer cultivating less land manured in some way than a large
amount unassisted.  We are always delighted to hear from you, and I
trust with care you may escape the chills.  The incentives I spoke of
were a sweet wife and child.  God bless you, my dear son.

                    "Most affectionately,

                              "R. E. Lee."

My mother continued to improve so much that she did not go that summer
to the Warm Springs.  My father spent most of his time in Lexington,
but rode over to the Baths about once a week.  There was nothing he
enjoyed more than a good long ride on Traveller.  It rested him from
the cares and worries incident to his duties, and gave him renewed
energy for his work.  He was often seen that summer along the eleven
miles of mountain road between Lexington and the Baths.  He made
himself acquainted with the people living near it, talked to them
about their affairs, encouraged and advised them, and always had a
cheery greeting and a pleasant word for them.  The little children
along his route soon became acquainted with the gray horse and his
stately rider.  College reopened the last of September and by October
he had his wife and daughters with him again.  He write to me on
October 18th, trying to help me in my agricultural perplexities:

"...Am glad to hear that you are well and progressing favourably.  Your
Uncle Smith says, in a letter just received in which he writes of his
difficulties and drawbacks, 'I must tell you that if you desire to
succeed in any matter relating to agriculture you must personally
superintend and see to everything.'  Perhaps your experience coincides
with his.

"I hope your wheat will reimburse you for your labour and guano.  I
think you are right in improving your land.  You will gain by cultivating
less and cultivating that well, and I would endeavour to manure every
crop--as to the kind of manure which will be the most profitable, you
must experiment.  Lime acts finely on your land and is more lasting
than guano.  If you can, get shells to burn on your land, or, if not,
shell lime from Baltimore.  I think you would thereby more certainly
and more cheaply restore your fields.  I hope your sale of ship-timber
may place you in funds to make experiments.  You will have to attend
to your contractors.  They will generally bear great attention, and
then circumvent you....  I hope I shall see you this winter, when we
can talk over the matter.  We are pretty well.  Your mother is better
by her visit to the Baths.  Mildred talks of going to the Eastern
Shore of Maryland next month, and I fear will be absent from us all
winter.  I must refer you to your sisters for all news.  They are
great letter-writers, and their correspondence extends over the globe.
Miss Etta Seldon is with us.  All our summer visitors have gone, and
some who, I hoped, would have visited us have not come....  Good-bye,
my dear son.  God bless you....

                    "Your affectionate father,

                                "R. E. Lee."

"Robert E. Lee, Jr."

My uncle, Smith Lee, was farming on the Potomac, and was constantly
sending me messages of condolence through my father.  Our experiences
were the same as all others starting to farm under the new order of
things.  My father was very hospitable, and it delighted him to have
his relatives and friends come and see him.  So many kindnesses had
been shown to himself and family for the last five years that he greatly
enjoyed this, his first opportunity of greeting in his own home those
who had so often offered my mother and sisters the shelter of theirs.
The country around Lexington was most beautiful, and the climate in
the summer and autumn all that could be desired.  So, at those seasons,
whenever he was at home, there was generally some one visiting him,
nearly always relatives or old and dear friends.  He entertained very
simply, made every one feel at home, and was always considerate and
careful of the amusement and welfare of his guests.

People came from all over the world to Lexington to see him.  Amongst
the visitors from afar were the marquis of Lorne and the Hon. Mr.
Cooper, who were on a tour through the United States.  They came to
Lexington to see General Lee.  When they called at the house there
happened to be no servant at hand, and my father, meeting them at the
door, received their cards.  Not having on his glasses, he could not
read the names, but ushered the strangers into the parlour, and
presented them to Mrs. Lee, without calling their names.  My mother
thought the tall, slender youth was a new student, and entered into
conversation with him as such.  Struck by his delicate appearance, she
cautioned him against the harsh winter climate of the mountains, and
urged him to be careful of his health.  On this, Mr. Cooper explained
who his companion was, and there was much amusement over the mistake.

The professors and students of the two institutions of learning were
constant visitors, especially in the evenings, when young men came
to see the girls.  If his daughters had guests, my father usually sat
with my mother in the dining-room adjoining the drawing-room.  When
the clock struck ten he would rise and close the shutters carefully
and slowly, and, if that hint was not taken, he would simply say "Good
night, young gentlemen."  The effect was immediate and lasting, and
his wishes in that matter, finally becoming generally known, were
always respected.  Captain W., who had very soon found out the General's
views as to the time of leaving, was told on one occasion that General
Lee had praised him very much.

"Do you know why?" said the Captain. "It is because I have never been
caught in the parlour at ten o'clock.  I came very near it least night,
but got into the porch before the General shut the first blind.  That's
the reason he calls me 'a fine young man.'"

A young friend who was a cadet at the Virginia Military Institute called
on my sisters one evening, and remarked, just for something to say:

"Do you know this is the first civilian's house I have entered in

My father was in the room in the room in his gray Confederate coat,
shorn of the buttons; also my two brothers, Custis and Fitzhugh, both
of whom had been generals in the Confederate Army; so there was quite
a laugh over the term CIVILIAN.  I have already mentioned how particular
my father was about answering all letters.  It was a great tax on his
time, and some of them must have been a trial to his temper.  The
following will explain itself:

                           "Lexington, Virginia, September 5, 1866.

"A. J. Requier, 81 Cedar St., New York.

"My Dear Sir:  I am very much obliged to you for your kind letter of
the 22d ult.  So many articles formerly belonging to me are scattered
over the country that I fear I have not time to devote to their
recovery.  I know no one in Buffalo whom I could ask to reclaim the
Bible in question.  If the lady who has it will use it, as I hope she
will, she will herself seek to restore it to the rightful owner.  I
will, therefore, leave the decision of the question to her and her
conscience.  I have read with great pleasure the poem you sent me,
and thank you sincerely for your interest in my behalf.  With great

                       "Your obedient servant,

                          "R. E. Lee."

Here is another one of many of a similar character:

                          "Lexington, Virginia, September 26, 1866.

"Mr. E. A. Pollard, 104 West Baltimore St., Baltimore, Md.

"Dear Sir:  I return you my thanks for the compliment paid me by your
proposition to write a history of my life.  It is a hazardous
undertaking to publish the life of any one while living, and there
are but few who would desire to read a true history of themselves.
Independently of the few national events with which mine has been
connected, it presents little to interest the general reader, nor do
I know where to refer you for the necessary materials.  All my private,
as well as public, records have been destroyed or lost, except what
is to be found in published documents, and I know of nothing available
for the purpose.  Should you, therefore, determine to undertake the
work, you must rely upon yourself, as my time is so fully occupied
that I am unable to promise you any assistance.

                    "Very respectfully,

                        "R. E. Lee."

This autumn my sister Mildred paid a visit to our cousins, Mr. and
Mrs. George Golsborough, living at "Ashby," near Easton, on the Eastern
Shore of Maryland.  She remained away there and elsewhere for several
months.  My father's letters to her, many of which have been preserved,
are most interesting.  They show very plainly many beautiful phases
of his noble character and disposition:

                           "Lexington, Virginia, December 21, 1866.

"My Precious Life:  I was very glad to receive your letter of the 15th
inst., and to learn that you were well and happy.  May you be always
as much so as is consistent with your welfare here and hereafter, is
my daily prayer.  I was much pleased, too, that, while enjoying the
kindness of your friends, we were not forgotten.  Experience will teach
you that, notwithstanding all appearances to the contrary, you will
never receive such a love as is felt for you by your father and mother.
That lives through absence, difficulties, and times.  Your own feelings
will teach you how it should be returned and appreciated.  I want to
see you very much, and miss you at every turn, yet am glad of this
opportunity for you to be with those who, I know, will do all in their
power to give you pleasure.  I hope you will also find time to read
and improve your mind.  Read history, works of truth, not novels and
romances.  Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in
its true light.  It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good,
and, when summoned away, to leave without regret.  Your friends here
inquire constantly after you, and wish for your return.  Mrs. White
and Mrs. McElwee particularly regret your absence, and the former
sends especial thanks for your letter of remembrance.  We get on in
our usual way.  Agnes takes good care of us, and is very thoughtful
and attentive.  She has not great velocity, but is systematic and
quiet.  After to-day, the mornings will begin to lengthen a little,
and her trials to lessen.  It is very cold, the ground is covered with
six inches of snow, and the mountains, as far as the eye can reach in
every direction, elevate their white crests as monuments of winter.
This is the night for the supper for the repairs to the Episcopal
church.  Your mother and sisters are busy with their contributions.
It is to take place at the hotel, and your brother, cousins, and father
are to attend.  On Monday night (24th), the supper for the Presbyterian
church is to be held at their lecture-room.  They are to have music
and every attraction.  I hope both may be productive of good.  But you
know the Episcopalians are few in numbers and light in purse, and
must be resigned to small returns....  I must leave to your sisters
a description of these feasts, and also an account of the operation
of the Reading Club.  As far as I can judge, it is a great institution
for the discussion of apples and chestnuts, but is quite innocent of
the pleasures of literature.  It, however, brings the young people
together, and promotes sociability and conversation.  Our feline
companions are flourishing.  Young Baxter is growing in gracefulness
and favour, and gives cat-like evidences of future worth.  He possesses
the fashionable colour of 'moonlight on the water,' apparently a dingy
hue of the kitchen, and is strictly aristocratic in appearance and
conduct.  Tom, surnamed 'The Nipper,' from the manner in which he
slaughters our enemies, the rats and the mice, is admired for his
gravity and sobriety, as well as for his strict attention to the
pursuits of his race.  They both feel your absence sorely.  Traveller
and Custis are both well, and pursue their usual dignified gait and
habits, and are not led away by the frivolous entertainments of lectures
and concerts.  All send united love, and all wish for your return.
Remember me most kindly to Cousins Eleanor and George, John, Mary,
Ida, and all at 'Myrtle Grove,' and to other kind friends when you
meet them.  Mrs. Grady carried yesterday to Mr. Charles Kerr, in
Baltimore, a small package for you.  Be careful of your health, and
do not eat more than half the plum-puddings Cousin Eleanor has prepared
for Xmas.  I am glad to hear that you are fattening, and I hope you
will reach 125 lbs.  Think always of your father, who loves you dearly.

                        "R. E. Lee.

"P.S., 22d.--Rob arrived last night with 'Lucy Long.'  He thinks it
too bad you are away.  He has not seen you for two years.

                        "R. E. Lee."

"Baxter" and "Tom, the Nipper" were Mildred's pets.  All of us had
a fondness for cats, inherited from my mother and her father, Mr.
Custis.  My father was very fond of them in his way and in their
place, and was kind to them and considerate of their feelings.  My
father was very fond of them in his way and in their place, and was
kind to them and considerate of their feelings.  My mother told of
his hearing one of the house-pets, possibly Baxter or the Nipper,
crying and lamenting under his window one stormy night.  The General
got out of bed, opened the window, and called pussy to come in.  The
window was so high that the animal could not jump up to it.  My father
then stepped softly across the room, took one of my mother's crutches,
and held it so far out of the window that he became wet from falling
rain; but he persuaded the cat to climb up along the crutch, and
into the window, before he thought of dry clothing fo himself.  "Lucy
Long" was my father's mare, which had been lost or stolen at the end
of the war, and which I had just brought back to him.  I will give
in the following letter his account of her:

                            "Lexington, Virginia, September 4, 1866.

"Dr. C. S. Garnett.

"Dear Sir:  I am much obliged to you for your letter of the 23d ult.
and the information it contained.  The mare about which my son wrote
you was bred by Mr. Stephen Dandridge, of 'The Bower,' Berkeley County,
Virginia, and was purchased from him for me by General J. E. B. Stuart
in the fall of 1862--after the return of the army from Maryland.  She
is nine or ten years old, about fifteen hands high, square built,
sorrel (not chestnut) colour, has a fast walk, easy pace, and short
canter.  When I parted with her she had a full long mane and tail.  I
rode her in conjunction with my gray horse from the fall of '62 to
the spring of '64, when she was sent back for refreshment; and it was
in recalling her in the spring of '65 from Mr. Hairston's, in Henry
County, that she got into Major Paxton's stables of public horses and
went to Danville with them.  I think she might be recognised by any
member of the Army of Northern Virginia, in Essex, unless much changed.
I now recollect no distinctive marks about her except a blaze in her
forehead and white hind-legs.  My son, General W. H. F. Lee, residing
at the White House, in New Kent, might recognise her, and also my
son Robert, who resides near West Point, in King William.  Captain
Hopkins, to whom you refer in your letter, is dead, but Major Paxton,
who had general charge of the public stables, and to whom I referred
you letter, has sent me the accompanying affidavits of two of the
men employed by him.  Should their evidence not be satisfactory, he
will procure statements from some of the officers, which probably
may be more definite.  I should be obliged to you, if the mare in
question is the one I am seeking for, that you would take steps to
recover her, as I am desirous of reclaiming her in consideration of
the donor, General Stuart.

                    "Your obedient servant,           R. E. Lee."

It was proved to the satisfaction of all parties that the mare in
question was "Lucy Long," and my father reimbursed the man who had
bought her from some one who had no right to her.  She was brought
to my place and I recognised her at once.  She stayed with me until
I was ready to pay my Christmas visit to Lexington.  She then was put
on the train and sent to Staunton, where I met her.  I found there
Colonel William Allan, a professor of Washington College, who had a
buggy and no horse, and as I had a horse and no buggy, we joined forces
and I drove him over to Lexington, "Lucy Long" carrying us with great
ease to herself and comfort to us.  My father was glad to get her, as
he was very fond of her.  When he heard how she came over, he was
really shocked, as he thought she had never been broken to harness.
She lived to be thirty-three years old, and was then chloroformed,
because my brother thought she had ceased to enjoy life.  For the last
ten years of her life she was boarded out in the country, where she
did nothing but rest, and until about a year before her death she
seemed in good health and spirits.



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