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gentleman. I don't care to sit
next to an old-clo' man; but if a Jew is well-bred and intelligent, Plutus, he
is as good to sit next to as any man!"
A few of us dined Colonel
Roumaine and Dr. Bruno at the Club. The dinner was delightful. Roumaine told us
of the condition and prospects of Hayti, and of his friend Geffrard. Afterward
we played billiards, at which the Colonel is a master. I understand some of the
youth who dined Bull Run Russell at the Club were amazed to hear of our party.
Probably. Chacun a son gout.
This morning John Bull came into
the Club. "Well!" said he, "I understand that niXXers have been dining here."
"Have they?" answered Alcibiades,
quietly, making rings of his cigar smoke, apparently more interested in them
than in Bull's remark.
"Yes, by Jove!" continued John,
"and I should like to know how the gentlemen behaved?"
"Oh, quite decently," said
Alcibiades, blowing fresh rings. "They didn't steal the spoons, nor sneer at
people of a different color—no, and they didn't wear secesh badges on their
coats, Bull. If they had, I, for one, would have kicked them out."
John moved on into the next room,
and Alcibiades continued blowing rings.
IT is an awful thought that the
citizens of the United States who are resolved to preserve their Government and
country, even if slaves must be freed in the process, are to be called
Abolitionists by General Beauregard at the South, and niXXer-heads by the
reactionists at the North. But it is one of those overwhelming blows to which we
must all submit with the best grace we can. "Woolly-head" and "Black Republican"
were very fearful epithets; "Fanatic," "Radical," "One-idea Men," were also
terrible terms. But "Abolitionist" and "niXXerhead" are an ingenious refinement
Still, let us not despair. A
people which, although denounced as Woollyheads, elected, by great majorities in
every Free State, a President, whose election was a sign that human decency and
political consistency were to have a chance in the Government, will perhaps be
able to bear up under the sneers of a party which is trying to build a Republic
upon the denial of human rights. Those who do not fear rebel batteries in front
will not be troubled much by reactionary blackguarding in the rear. Hard names
are by no means the hardest burdens to carry. Christian, Puritan, Methodist,
were all contemptuous epithets; but they are not exactly contemptible facts. So
there is no gentleman in Europe who does not pride himself upon being an
Abolitionist. He would as soon defend cannibalism as slavery. Every wise party
catches the nicknames hurled at it like the stones at St. Stephen, and proudly
binds them on its forehead, where they blaze like diamonds.
It is truly dreadful to be called
an Abolitionist, of course; and to be denounced as niXXerhead might well drive
the coolest man to suicide. But there is one epithet which is not merely a spirt
of rage and spleen like these. It is a name which burns and brands with infamy.
There is many a man who, years hence, will proudly say to his children, "I was
an Abolitionist in '63." But what man, who does not wish Benedict Arnold were
his ancestor, will say with pride to his children, "I was a Copperhead in '63?"
VERY THIN MASK.
WHEN a wanton and wicked
rebellion is aiming to destroy the Government, to ruin the country, to establish
a political community upon the bloody denial of the rights of man, to annihilate
every guarantee of civil liberty, to substitute endless and ferocious war for
permanent peace, and to replace national unity, power, and prosperity by the
sheerest anarchy, and a citizen of that threatened country has no word of
condemnation for the effort, and expresses no fear of its consequences to the
liberty of the citizen and the existence of the Government, but by all that he
says, and all that he dares to do, comforts and aids that fierce assault of
disorder and barbarism upon order and civilization, the indignation of every
sober man and loyal citizen is kindled against him as one with all the guilt and
more than the cowardice of an open rebel.
But when this man, who has not a
solitary word of sympathy nor a feeling of generous forbearance toward the
Government which is battling to sustain itself and save his country, declaims
bitterly against any extreme but regulated measure of supreme authority
necessary for that purpose as destroying all the liberties of the citizen, the
feeling of indignation changes into one of utter and inexpressible contempt.
What other emotion could any
faithful American citizen possibly have upon reading the Congressional speeches
and the Copperhead editorials against the Conscription and Habeas Corpus acts?
"PRETTY GOOD HIT."
MR. LOUNGER,—I read with interest
the note of your correspondent Tri-Mountain last week, and I hope he will
equally enjoy my anecdote.
A certain man who has long done
the work of those who are now in rebellion, and has had his various rewards—a
man who frankly says that if the rebellion succeeds he hopes his State will go
with the rebels—meets a gentleman upon the street and says to him, jauntily:
"Well, I believe I will try
Quick as lightning the gentleman
coolly replies: "In Dr. Johnson's sense?"
You will remember, as the person
in question did, the definition given by Dr. Johnson, who was a high Tory, to
the word Patriotism, which was then used as a party name: "Patriotism; the law
refuge of a scoundrel."
Stung by the prompt retort, the
man turned green; thought better of it; grinned a ghastly grin, and said,
"Pretty good hit."
Yours, with respect,
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
A CORRESPONDENT in the
Seventy-sixth Ohio writes: Away down here in Dixie we sometimes learn some funny
things about the doings of our Southern brethren when they held the country now
occupied by us. For instance: When General M'Cown (rebel) was commanding at New
Madrid, he was greatly alarmed one night at the reported approach of General
Pope with a large force to attack the place. At once every thing was in
commotion, and the General commenced making arrangements for defense. He soon
found, to his horror, that he had no percussion-caps for his field-pieces. He
forthwith dispatched a steamer in hot haste bearing a letter to a Colonel, an
ordnance officer at Island No. 10, directing him to bring down a supply
immediately. The boat reached the island in about an hour; the Colonel was found
in a state of "wild but sweet ebriety." The letter was delivered to him, and he
soon came aboard with a box under his arm, and the steamer returned to New
Madrid. In about fifteen minutes after she landed the Colonel returned on board,
and ordered the Captain of the boat to return at once with his boat to Island
No. 10. The Captain said he did not think he would go, as he had other orders
from Commodore Hollins. "But," says the Colonel, "you must and shall go, for by
— they sent up to me for a box of percussion-caps, and I have brought down a box
Again: A transport took on board
at Eunice, Arkansas, a regiment of Secesh troops bound for Fort Pillow. The
night before reaching their destination the bar-keeper found that a ten-gallon
keg of whisky had been stolen from the bar by some one of the soldiers, and made
complaint to the Colonel. The Colonel said he would try to discover the thief;
and so, when the men were landed next day, ordered that every box, barrel, or
package capable of containing the missing keg should be searched on its passage
ashore. The search was made, but the keg could not be found.
About two weeks afterward the
Colonel had occasion to take passage on the same boat. He was asked whether he
had found out any thing about the keg of whisky. He replied: "Yes, I know all
about it. I found the keg empty in camp the day after we landed. Suspecting a
roguish whisky-loving scamp of having something to do with its theft, I called
him up and said to him if he would tell me how he got the keg ashore I would let
him off. 'Now,' says he, 'Colonel, if you'll be as good as your word, I'll tell
you. I just put the keg in the bass-drum, headed the drum up, and carried the
whisky ashore in that.' "
"Katy, have you laid the
table-cloth and plates yet?" "An' sure I have, mem—every thing but the eggs; an'
isn't that Biddy's work, surely?"
Old Bones is strongly opposed to
exertion of any kind. In fact, he is one of the laziest men alive. Not long
since he was taken ill very suddenly, and he sent in hot haste for Doctor Dobbs.
The Doctor is a wiry little man, ever on the move, and rather sarcastic in his
remarks. On arriving he asked Bones how he felt. "Ah, Doctor," said he, with a
most wobegone visage, "it's all up with me. I feel that I can not survive long."
"Bosh!" interrupted the Doctor, impatiently; "you'll never die." "Never die,
Doctor! why not?" "Because you're too lazy to give the last kick."
What a noise and a fuss there has
been made about changing names! Of course, all the bother has been raised by
gentlemen. Now we must say in favor of the beautiful sex that we do not know a
single young lady (we say advisedly, a single young lady) who would have been
half so particular. On the contrary, we do not know any persons who change their
names with a greater willingness and a more becoming grace than ladies. In fact,
we believe that the sooner they change them the better they are pleased.
If a woman does not speak her
secrets with her lips, she is sure to tell them in her letters. Her pen is
certain to split."
Sydney Smith says in one of his
letters, "I have seven or eight complaints, but in all other respects I am
A lady, walking a few days since
on the promenade at Brighton, asked a sailor whom she met why a ship was called
"she." The son of Neptune replied that it was "because the rigging costs so
When Jemima went to school she
was asked why the noun "bachelor" was singular? "Because," she replied, "it is
so very singular that they don't get married."
"I am burning to be at the enemy
again!" as the man whose physician had advised him to give up smoking remarked
when he lit a fresh cigar.
If there are sixteen nails in one
yard, how is it that there ought never to be more than five nails to a foot?
TO STUDENTS IN ARITHMETIC.—If
four dogs, with sixteen legs, can catch twenty-nine rabbits, with eighty-seven
legs, in forty-four minutes, how many legs must the same rabbits have to get
away from eight dogs, with thirty-two legs, in seventeen minutes and a half?
An old gentleman, on retiring
from business, gave the following sage advice to his son and successor: "Common
sense, my son, is valuable in all kinds of business—except love-making."
A musician near Eccles, in
Lancashire, one George Sharp, had his name painted on his door thus—G Sharp. A
wag of a painter, who knew something of music, early one morning made the
following significant, undeniable addition—is A flat.
"Your Honor was right and I was
wrong—as your Honor is very apt to be," said a distinguished counselor to a
"One half of this generation,"
said an old maid, "are born to be the wives of the other half, and the mothers
of all the rest."
A lady complaining that her
husband was dead to fashionable amusements, he replied, "But then, my dear, you
make me alive to the expense."
When the thermometer falls, how
often, on an average, does it break?
The Bath Times speaks of men who
"worship the rising sin." True enough; prosperous sin always finds worshipers.
There's no use in your ever
taking a lazy man to task. He won't perform it if you do.
The richest man on earth is but a
pauper fed and clothed by the bounty of Heaven.
Mrs. Partington says that Ike has
got a horse so spirituous that it always goes off in a decanter.
In a hot summer, when there is
most thirst, there are fewest brooks. So of many people's charity, it is rarest
when most needed.
Jones thinks that, instead of
giving credit to whom credit is due, the cash had better be paid.
Little girls believe in a man in
the moon; young ladies in a man in the honey-moon.
ON Wednesday, March 4, the
Thirty-seventh Congress terminated at noon. Nearly all the important measures
for the support of the Government which were brought before Congress passed both
Houses. None of the bills designed to assist the States in effecting the
emancipation of slaves were successful in passing. The bills to admit the
Territories of Nebraska, Nevada, and Colorado as States failed to get through
both Houses for want of time.
Soon after the adjournment of
both Houses of Congress the Senate met in extraordinary session, in accordance
with the President's call; but beyond the election of Senator Foot, of Vermont,
as presiding officer pro tem., and the administration of the oath of office to
new members, little business was transacted.
On Thursday, 5th, the Senate sat
again in extra session. Mr. Thomas A. Hendricks, of Indiana, and Mr. William
Sprague, of Rhode Island, were sworn in as Senators, and took their seats. The
President pro tem., Senator Foot, was authorized to appoint the standing
committees. A resolution was adopted, returning to President Lincoln all the
military nominations which expired with the late Senate. But little other
business was transacted.
On Friday, 6th, in the Senate,
the standing committees were announced by the President pro tem., Senator Foot.
A resolution was introduced for the printing of ten thousand copies of the
mechanical part of the Patent Office report, and four thousand copies of the
acts and joint resolutions of the late session of Congress. The proposed
additional rule of the Senate was called up. It requires that the oath of
loyalty passed by Congress in July last shall be subscribed to by members of the
Senate and House of Representatives. A long debate took place on the proposition
to enforce the rule; but, without doing so, the Senate went into executive
session. During the day several messages were received from the President. On
the conclusion of the executive session discussion was resumed on the proposal
to administer to the new Senators the "loyal oath," after which Senator Foot
took the oath, and all the
new Senators present followed his
example. Without transacting any other business the Senate adjourned.
On Saturday, 7th, in the Senate,
Senator Doolittle took the oath of loyalty prescribed by the act of July, 1862,
as other newly elected Senators did on the previous day. The resolution to print
ten thousand copies of the mechanical part of the Patent Office report, and four
thousand copies of the acts and joint resolutions of the late session, was
adopted. The Senate then went into executive session on the Presidential
nominations, and, on the opening of the doors, adjourned.
On Monday, 9th, and Tuesday,
10th, the Senate confirmed some nominations and adjourned.
PROCLAMATION TO DESERTERS.
The President issued on 10th an
important proclamation on the matter of soldiers absent from their regiments
without leave. He gives a few days' grace to all such, up to the 1st of April,
at which time all those who report themselves to the nearest head-quarters, as
designated by a previous order of the Secretary of War, will be restored to
their respective regiments without punishment; but those who do not will be
arrested as deserters and dealt with as the law directs. He warns evil-disposed
persons not to give aid to the rebellion by encouraging desertion, thus
weakening the strength of the armies, and exposing those troops in the field to
additional danger. He calls upon all good citizens to assist in preventing
disaffected parties from urging the desertion of soldiers and discouraging
ATTACK ON FAIRFAX COURT HOUSE.
The rebels, under Captain Mosely,
made an attack on Fairfax Court House on the 8th, about 2 o'clock A.M.,
capturing General H. Stoughton, who was in command there, together with all the
men detached from his brigade, 110 horses, and the patrols of the Provost
Marshal. He entered the place during a violent rain storm, and took the
head-quarters of the General completely by surprise. An orderly who escaped and
returned to Fairfax states that the enemy were retreating, with our cavalry in
close pursuit, and that they were running so hastily for their lives that they
abandoned thirty of the prisoners they had previously captured.
Richmond journals of the 6th
inst. contain the extraordinary rumors that the Indianola has been blown up by
the rebels, but that her armament fell into the hands of the Federals.
Porter dispatched to
Washington on 8th that both the Indianola and Webb were
destroyed in the late engagement.
The rebel papers further state
the rebel Van Dorn repulsed a Union force near Franklin on the 1st inst., and
captured 2200 officers and men. An attack on Port Hudson by
forces was looked upon in Richmond as immediate.
DESTRUCTION OF THE "NASHVILLE."
The story of the total
destruction of the
rebel steamer Nashville, in the Ogeechee River, near
Savannah, is confirmed by the Richmond papers, which state that she grounded on
the bar before Fort McAllister on the 27th ult., and was discovered by the Union
fleet, one of which opened fire on her for two hours and a half, and finally got
a shell on board, which set her on fire, and left her a complete wreck. During
the attack the fort kept up a fire on the Union gun-boat, and hit her twice. The
gun-boat returned the shots, but, as far as known, did no damage to Fort
FIGHT NEAR FRANKLIN.
Our news from Nashville reports a
further renewal of the fight between our troops and the rebels under Van Dorn,
at Springville, near Franklin, Tennessee, on 5th. General Van Dorn is said to
have eighteen thousand men under his command, and the Union force, being very
inferior in numbers, were defeated. Three regiments of infantry, under Coburn,
of the Thirty-third Indiana, were entirely cut to pieces or captured. The
cavalry and artillery, numbering five hundred of the former, and one battery,
escaped. The men fought splendidly throughout the whole day; but the heavy fire
of the enemy's batteries in front, and the movements of vastly superior numbers
on their flanks, were too much for them. General Gilbert was expected to come up
with reinforcements from Franklin, but he did not arrive.
The Army of the Potomac has been
making a demonstration. An expedition, under Colonel Phelps, which left Belle
Plain in steamers on Tuesday for Northumberland County, made a most successful
thing of it, and returned to head-quarters on 6th. The troops visited
Heathsville, which they found deserted by the rebels. Then, throwing out large
foraging parties from that base into Lancaster County and in other directions,
they succeeded in capturing one thousand bushels of corn, fifty horses and
mules, a large number of fine beef cattle and quite an amount of medical stores.
Two post-offices and several stores were visited, and two important rebel mails
captured. The cavalry also seized a large number of horses and mules, and are
now on their way overland to Fredericksburg. Some prisoners were also taken,
among them Colonel Claybrook, a prominent rebel officer, and two clerks of the
departments at Richmond, with a quantity of correspondence for citizens of
Baltimore, and official papers addressed to parties in London, to the care of
Baring Brothers. The country was quite deserted and almost barren of every
REVULSION IN PUBLIC SENTIMENT.
THERE was a great demonstration
at the Amphitheatre in Liverpool on the 19th ult., in support of
Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation. The Liverpool Post says that a more
unanimous meeting was never witnessed on any question on which public opinion
has been divided. Resolutions applauding the course of Mr. Lincoln on the
slavery question, and an address to be presented to him through Mr. Adams were
adopted. Some uproar and confusion occurred toward the conclusion of the
meeting; but with this exception every thing passed off very happily. On the
same evening a meeting was held at Carlisle, and a similar series of resolutions
were carried with enthusiasm, and almost unanimously. The conduct of the Lord
Mayor of London in feting Mr. Mason, the Minister of the Confederate Government,
was strongly reprobated at the Carlisle gathering.
The latest reports from the
Continent of Europe inform us that the rebel agents had succeeded in effecting a
large loan of money based on cotton at a fixed price, or cotton at option, at
seven per cent. Paris letters, dated on the 20th ult. say that the contract for
the Confederate loan had been received for three millions of pounds sterling in
bonds at seven per cent., exchangeable for cotton at option. The London Times,
in its city article, says: "The cotton thus hypothecated will be first available
for shipment to Europe," as the government—rebel it is to be presumed—possesses
all the means of transport from the interior to the ports.
The papers publish the
proclamation of General Forey to the Mexican people, signalizing his intended
and immediate advance upon the City of the Montezumas. The fate of Mexico is
therefore in the balance. Although the French General speaks with words of
softness to the inhabitants of this invaded land, we must not doubt that he will
fight his way furiously to the long-coveted capital. The accounts of his
movements are so uncertain that we know not whether he intends to storm the
heights of Puebla or endeavor to turn that formidable position. As the day for
the French advance was fixed for the 21st or 22d of last month, it is evident,
unless some serious obstacles interposed, that the coup de grace has already
been struck. General Forey does not seem so confident of success as his
partisans may be inclined to believe; but as the die is now cast, Mexico must
either be lost or won.
ADVENTURE IN MEXICO.
"The Pecari, or Mexican Pig, is a
very dangerous animal. There is a story related of a French traveler who climbed
up a tree to escape from a drove of them; but the creatures remained around the
tree until the fugitive dropped down from exhaustion, and very soon there was
nothing of him left but the first letters of his name, which were L. N."—Natural
History of Mexico.