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JUNE 8, 1861.] HARPER'S WEEKLY. 355 (Previous Page) possibly avoid. It would be almost worth the war if such a change could be established. Who would not breathe more freely, and with a deeper sense of security, if he knew that it was understood that, upon the close of an Administration which had not filled the myriad minor offices of the Government from purely partisan considerations, the officers would be removed only for cause ? But this change in political habit is so essential that it ought to be prescribed by an amendment to the Constitution. Let it not be counted among the least of the services which the present Administration may render to the country, that its policy has made this great change possible. "ELIZABETTA SIRANI.—1665."Two correspondents ask for some explanation of Owen Meredith's fine poem in the Weekly of April 13. Elizabetta Sirani was the daughter of a Bolognese painter. Before she had reached the age of twenty she had won a high reputation as a painter. She was equally celebrated for her beauty and her virtue. She died in November, 1665, in her 25th year. According to general belief she, like Domenichino, was poisoned by artists jealous of her rising fame. She was buried in the Chapel of Our Lady of the Rosary, close by the tomb of her great master, Guido Reni. A volume of tributes to her memory was published, one line of which reads: " I was a woman, yet I knew not love." Among her numerous pupils were her two sisters, Anne and Barbara. She left behind about 150 paintings, Many of them large works. All this, and much more, is clearly told in the poem, as our correspondents will see upon reperusal. HUMORS OF THE DAY.GLADSTONE THE HUSBAND'S BEST FRIEND.[A Fond Couple are walking down Regent Street.] WIFE (spell-bound outside a milliner's shop). Do stop, Henry, there's a dear ! I won't keep you a moment. I only just want to look at this beautiful bonnet. HUSBAND (impatiently). No, Julia, I will not listen to it. Besides, I certainly agree with the Chancellor of the Exchequer that it is high time a stop was put to this "profligate expenditure." [Hurries her impetuously away.] SONG BY MR. MERRIMAN.AIR.—" Hope told a flattering Tale." As I was stealing geese, And fancied no one near, Up came the unobserved police, And caught me by the ear. I told my artless tale, Entreaty was in vain: And so they took me off to jail : But here we are again! THE WRONG WORD IN THE WRONG PLACE.—An evening contemporary informs us that there is "great excitement about the Match for the Championship that is on the tapis." From this last word, one would imagine that a prize-fight was fought in a drawing-room and not in an open field. Perhaps the tapis above mentioned means the tapis vert, in allusion to the gambling that takes place upon it, to say nothing of the stakes that are necessary for the formation of the ring before the little game can be opened ; or does the tapis vert refer to the Turf, and the number of green blades that on such blackguard occasions are always to be found collected on it? AN ENDLESS SERIES.—We see that a French book has been brought out called, "La Betise Humaine." It is complete in one volume. This strikes us as a very narrow field for all the betes of the human race to gambol about in. We suppose the subject of " La Betise Francaise" is reserved for future volumes. If so, we are afraid that few of us will ever live to see the completion of the work. ANIMAL ENJOYMENT.—An epicure recommends cucumber to be eaten with salmon, for the reason that it enlarges the pleasures of the palate, by enabling man to enjoy the delight of rumination. " A SORDID EXISTENCE."—That led by King Damocles with the sword continually suspended over his head. DISAPPOINTMENT AND SUCCESS.—When poor Edmund Kean was acting in barns to country bumpkins, barely finding bread for his wife and child, he was just as great a genius as when he was crowding Drury Lane. When Brougham presided in the House of Lords he was not a bit better or greater than when he had hung about in the Parliament House at Edinburgh, a briefless and suspected junior barrister. When all London crowded to see the hippopotamus, he was just the animal that he was a couple of years later, when no one took the trouble of looking at him. And when George Stephenson died, amidst the applause and gratitude of all the intelligent men in Britain, he was the same man, maintaining the same principle, as when men of science and of law regarded as a mischievous lunatic the individual who declared that some day the railroad would be the king's highway, and mail-coaches would be drawn by steam. When a woman wishes to be very affectionate to her lover, she calls him a "naughty man." Why is a miser like seasoned timber ?—Because he never gives.
An advertiser in one of the papers says he has a cottage to let containing eight rooms and an acre of land. CHEMICAL ODDITY.—While an ignorant lecturer was describing the nature of gas, a blue-stocking lady inquired of a gentleman near her, what was the difference between oxygin and hydrogin ? " Very little, madam," said he; " by oxygin we mean pure gin, and by hydrogin, gin and water." HOW TO ENJOY A VENISON FEAST.—At a venison feast, Sir Joshua Reynolds addressed his conversation to one of the company who sat next to him, but, to his great surprise, could not get a single word in answer, until at length his silent neighbor, turning to him, said, "Sir Joshua, whenever you are at a venison feast, I advise you not to speak during dinner-time, as in endeavoring to answer your questions I have just swallowed a fine piece of fat without tasting its flavor." " You carry your head rather high," as the owl said to the giraffe when he poked his nose into the belfry. A NIGHT'S REST.—Captain Wilbraham, when at a village in Armenia, was crowded into a stable for the night which resembled Noah's ark. Children were squalling the whole night through, and two young buffaloes walked over the captain In the dark! We had such a night of disquiet, a few years since, upon a walk across Hampshire. The village inn was " full," and we were compelled to seek rest in a cottage, where our bedroom partition was only two-thirds of the entire height of the apartment : our neighbor snored most lustily, a child in the house had the whooping-cough, and the father rose at day-break, and killed a pig just under our window! " Will you please to permit a lady to occupy this seat ?" said a gentleman to another, the other day in a railroad carriage. "Is she an advocate of woman's rights ?" asked the gentleman who was invited to "vacate." "She is," replied he who was standing. " Well, then, let her take the benefit of her doctrine, and stand up." Curious answers often come out in examination for the Civil Service. The word " inheritance" occurring in a page of reading, the examiner interrogated the youngster: "What is inheritance ?"—"Patrimony."—" What is patrimony ?"—" Something left by a father."—" What would you call it, if left by a mother ?"—" Matrimony." We find in a provincial paper an account of two culprits who escaped from the custody of the sheriff, and hid themselves in a gun. They should, when found, have been discharged at once.
INK, BLOOD, AND TEARS.(THE TAKING OF FORT SUMTER.)(From Punch.) A FORTY hours' bombardment ! Great guns throwing Their iron hail: shells their mad mines exploding: Furnaces lighted: shot at red-heat glowing: Shore-batt'ries and fort-armament, firing, loading—War's visible hell let loose for forty hours, And all her devils free to use their powers And yet not one man hit, her flag when Sumter lowers. " Oh, here's a theme!" quoth Punch, of brag abhorrent, "'Twixt promise and performance rare proportion! This show-cloth, of live lions, giving warrant, Masking some mangy, stunted, stuffed abortion: These gorgeous covers hiding empty dishes, These whale-like antics among little fishes—Here is the very stuff to meet my dearest wishes. " What ringing of each change on brag and bluster! These figures huge of speech, summed in a zero : This war-march, ushering in Bombastes' muster: This entry of Tom Thumb, armed like a hero. Of all great cries e'er raised o'er little wool, Of all big bubbles by fools' breath filled full, Sure here's the greatest yet, and emptiest, for John Bull! "John always thought Jonathan, his young brother, A little of a bully; said he swaggered: But in all change of chaff with one another, Nor John nor Jonathan was e'er called ' laggard.' But now, if John mayn't Jonathan style 'coward,' He may hint Stripes and Stars were better lowered From that tall height to which, till now, their flag-staff towered." Punch nibbed his pen, all jubilant, for galling—When suddenly a weight weighed down the feather, And a red liquid, drop by drop, slow falling, Came from the nib; and the drops rolled together, And steamed and smoked and sung—" Not ink, but blood; Drops now, but soon to swell into a flood, Perchance e'er Summer's leaf has burst Spring's guarding bud. "Blood by a brother's hand drawn from a brother—And they by whom 'tis ta'en, by whom 'tis given, Are both the children of an English mother; Once with that mother, in her wrath, they've striven: Was't not enough, that parricidal jar, But they must now meet in fraternal war? If such strife draw no blood shall England scoff therefore? "If she will laugh, through thee, her chartered wit, Use thou no ink wherewith to pen thy scoff: We'll find a liquor for thy pen more fit We blood-drops—see how smartly thou'lt round off Point, pun, and paragraph in this new way : Till men shall read and laugh, and, laughing, say, ' Well thrust ! Punch is in vein: 'tis his red-letter day.'" The weight sat on my quill: I could not write; The red drops clustered to my pen—in vain; I had my theme—"Brothers that meet in fight, Yet shed no blood !"—my jesting mood turned pain. I thought of all that civil love endears, That civil strife breaks up and rends and sears, And lo ! the blood-drops in my pen were changed to tears! And for the hoarse tongues that those bloody gouts Had found, or seemed to find, upon my ears Came up a gentle song in linked bouts, Of long-drawn sweetness—pity breathed through tears. And thus they sang—"'Twas not by chance, Still less by fraud or fear, That Sumter's battle came and closed, Nor cost the world a tear. 'Twas not that Northern hearts were weak, Or Southern courage cold, That shell and shot fell harming not A man on shore or hold.
Lincoln and Putnam, Allen, Gates, And gallant Wayne were there "With those who rose at Boston, At Philadelphia met; Whose grave eyes saw the Union's seal To their first charter set. Adams, and Jay, and Henry, Rutledge and Randolph, too- And many a name their country's fame Hath sealed brave, wise, and true. "An awful host—above the coast, About the fort, they hung; Sad faces pale, too proud to wail, But with sore anguish wrung. And Faith and Truth, and Love and Ruth, Hovered the battle o'er, Hind'ring the shot, that freight of death Between those brothers bore. "And thus it hipped, by God's good grace, And those good spirits' band, That Death forebore the leaguer'd place, The battery-guarded strand.
THE CAUTIOUS HUSBAND.As through the town the mourners went To bury Jonah's wife, The coffin struck a corner-stone And brought her back to life And then poor Jonah's days again Were filled with ceaseless strife. But years flew by—again she died—They came to lay her low; "My friends," the weeping husband cried, His face the type of woe " Be very careful how you turn
DOMESTIC INTELLIGENCE.THE OCCUPATION OF VIRGINIA.ELSEWHERE will be found an illustration of the armed occupation of Arlington Heights and Alexandria by the Federal forces. The Federal troops now lining the heights of the Potomac, on the Virginia side, are actively engaged in throwing up earth-works and fortifying their position. A reconnoissance made on Monday from Alexandria in the direction of Fairfax Court House, resulted in the discovery of a body of secessionist cavalry drawn up in line. Two of their picket-guard were captured and sent to Washington. They confirm the report that a force of 700 rebel infantry had advanced within a few miles of Alexandria on Saturday. AFFAIRS AT NORFOLK AND FORTRESS MONROE.General Butler is at Fortress Monroe, and will probably move on Norfolk as soon as he has the requisite force. Three fugitive slaves, belonging to Colonel Mallory, commander of the rebel forces near Hampton, were brought to the Fort by the Federal picket-guard, while attempting to escape to avoid being sent further South. A flag of truce was sent in, with a demand for the surrender of the slaves under the Fugitive Slave Law, but General Butler informed the messenger that he considered the slaves contraband of war, and should retain them until Colonel Mallory visited the Fort and swore to support the laws of the United States. THE REBELS AT HARPER'S FERRY.The rebel forces at Harper's Ferry are actively occupied throwing out men on the Maryland heights. On Monday a force of 300 Virginians, with some light artillery and howitzers, were distributed along the country roads for about a mile north of the ferry leading to Sharpsburg and Boonesborough. Outpost guards, however, were thrown out considerably farther. General Johnston commanded these movements in person. Twenty-two additional guns arrived there from Winchester on Saturday. Intelligence received confirms the report that there are 10,000 men at Richmond, under General Lee, and 12,000 at Fredericksburg, under General Ruggles. Mr. Davis and General Beauregard were expected at Richmond. POSITION OF AFFAIRS ON THE MISSISSIPPI.Our dates from Cairo are to the 23d. The building of fortifications was still going on, and several heavy thirty-two pound cannon had just arrived, and a number of rifled guns were soon expected. The Engineer-in-Chief of the camp had visited Bird's Point, across the river in Missouri. The point would be occupied by Government forces when it was necessary ; but at present there is no fear of its being taken possession of by the rebels. There are 4500 rebel troops at Fort Wright, near Memphis, Tennessee, and 6000 at Fort Hawks, six miles from Memphis. At Mound City, Arkansas, there are 1500, and at Courant, Mississippi, 1800. They are poorly fed, poorly clad, poorly armed, and poorly paid. Ten companies of rebel troops left New Orleans on the 20th, for Fort Smith, Arkansas. THE REBEL FORCES IN TENNESSEE.An order, issued by General Pillow, commanding the secession forces in Tennessee, directs all the volunteers in the State to rendezvous at Jackson, Madison County, in that State, for immediate service. Jackson is a great railroad centre, and one of the roads leads direct from that place to Columbus, Kentucky, which is only twenty miles below Cairo. AFFAIRS IN MISSOURI.By a compact entered into between General Harney, of the Federal army, and General Price, commanding the State militia, the latter forces, comprising 4000 men, were to disband and go to their homes. But the St. Louis Democrat of the 24th says : "Reports from Jefferson City of that date state that the Missouri troops organized under the requisition of Governor Jackson had refused to disband, according to the terms of agreement between General Harney and General Price. It is alleged that great dissatisfaction is expressed by the secessionists at the arrangements alluded to." The same paper states that considerable excitement prevails at Jefferson City in consequence of the discovery of an attempt to poison the Federal troops, by putting arsenic in the flour from which their bread is made. It appears that a Union man is baker to the troops, and a secessionist, in order to effect his destruction, had made an arrangement with a negress to poison the bread. She informed against him, and spies were placed so as to overhear the conversation between him and the woman, when he was arrested and placed in jail. A proposition was made to hang him, but it was overruled. CONDITION OF AFFAIRS AT FORT PICKENS.By the arrival of the transport steamer Philadelphia we have advices from Pensacola to the 13th and Key West to the 19th of May. The blockade at Pensacola is effectual. All vessels with food and supplies for the Confederate forces under General Bragg are cut off by sea. They were constructing a railroad so as to evade the blockade, which was to have been completed about the 15th. It is stated by one of the passengers on the Philadelphia that one of the Confederate States officers was heard to say that General Bragg would not be ready to attack Fort Pickens until the 25th of June, and it was generally believed that he would abandon the attack and march North with his besieging army. They are reported as being poorly equipped, and with only a portion of their batteries mounted. The heavy guns not having arrived before the blockade, they can not get them until the railroad is completed. SOUTHERN PRIVATEERS AT WORK.Jeff Davis's privateers are reported as already at work on the Atlantic coast, as well as in the Gulf of Mexico. The brig Elisha Doane, which arrived at Boston yesterday from Sattillo River, Georgia, reports having been captured by a privateer schooner and taken to Brunswick. She was, however, released by order of Governor Brown, for some reason not stated. The Captain of the Doane reports that the schooner Hume had been seized and confiscated as a prize. SOUTHERN VESSELS SEIZED.The Niagara and Huntsville have taken several prizes and sent them North, and the United States fleet at Key West have taken other prizes. A Northern vessel has been taken by the rebels at Apalachicola, Florida, and it is reported that they have hanged her captain. The newly appointed Admiralty Judge and District Attorney of the Confederate States arrived at Key West for the purpose of organizing their Court, but finding the place so thoroughly loyal to the United States, they did not attempt it, but made a precipitate retreat from the city. STOPPAGE OF THE MAILS.The Postmaster-General has completed the isolation of the seceding States by forbidding the transmission of all mail matter, either coastwise, by river, or by land route, to each and every one of the rebellious States. Maryland, Delaware, Kentucky, Missouri, and Tennessee are exempt from this proscription. THE NEW GOVERNMENT LOAN.The Treasury Department, immediately after the opening of the proposals on 25th, commenced informing the successful bidders of the result. The Secretary accepted all for the bonds placed at 85 and upward, and awarded the remainder to the bidders for the Treasury notes at or above par. There were awarded of the bonds $6,753,000, and of the Treasury notes $2,241,000. ARMS FROM BALTIMORE.The War Department was on 27th offered a battalion and battery of four 12-pounders by a gentleman from Baltimore. They will probably be accepted. NEGRO INSURRECTION IN ARKANSAS.A negro insurrection was recently discovered in Des Arc, Arkansas. The punishment of the offenders was summary and severe. One white man and three negroes were hung, three more negroes banished, and a number of others were severely whipped. SUSPENSION OF SPECIE PAYMENTS IN KENTUCKY.The Legislature of Kentucky adjourned on the 24th. By laws just enacted the Courts of the State are suspended until the 1st of January next, and the banks are allowed to suspend specie payments.
WHY THE KENTUCKY LEGISLATURE
PASSED NO
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