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Page) by the history of the summer and of the year. The more
sagacious members will see that the wording of the law is vague. What is "
aiding or promoting an insurrection ?" If a man gives a rebel a gun, isn't that
"aiding?" If he stays at home to do the rebel's work while the rebel creeps to
the Potomac to use the rifle upon Baker —
McClellan—isn't that " promoting ?" When
Congress has meditated this question with "forbearance, patience, confidence,"
there are few loyal Representatives or Senators of any party who will not say, "
Let the law say exactly what justice and common-sense require and the people
And we shall not be surprised if
the present section fourth of the Act of Confiscation is not amended to read :
"The property, real and personal, of all persons who shall take up arms against
the United States, or who shall be directly proven to have taken active part
with their enemies in the field, is declared to be confiscated to the public use
; and their slaves, if any they have, are hereby declared free men."
The necessity of this step may
not yet plainly appear to all sincerely loyal citizens. Then until it does, or
until it is substantially the public conviction, as Colonel Cochrane thinks it
already is, let us remember McClellan's golden motto: "Forbearance, patience,
confidence." The perception of the justice, the sense, and the necessity of the
measure is sure to come. The permanent peace of the country and the manly honor
of every citizen are sure to be saved. We have only to await the inevitable
course of events, while we solicit the most searching and sincere discussion.
Think how we have educated ourselves in a year ! "Forbearance," says our wise
young General, " patience, confidence," and all will be well.
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
CAUTION TO WOOL-GATHERERS.—To
those English steamers who are attempting to run the blockade of South America
we beg to repeat the Spanish proverb: Take care, in going in search of wool,
that you do not return home fleeced.
THE PERFECTION OF NEEDLE-WORK.—It
is quite a prize pattern, if a lady can "hem" a refusal without there being a
single cross-stitch in it.
A BEND SINISTER.-A bow from a
Flowers have their language, why
not their religion? Of course it would be Buddhism.
Can a man who is charged with not
having a right to a work because he has copied it, justifiably plead that he has
Can a man who has been fined by
the magistrates again and again be considered a refined man?
Why does a confectioner resemble
one of the West India Islands?—Because he's a jam-maker (Jamaica).
FLOWER GARDEN FOR NOVEMBER,.—NOW
is the time for forcing. If you are not a good whist-player, the simplest plan
will be to make good use of your best spade and a little art.
FANCY GARDENING.—Damp a
postage-stamp and sow mustard and cress; it has a very pretty effect on a
writing-desk. Plant your foot firmly somewhere ready for a good spring into your
neighbor's garden—you may look for a speedy return.
KITCHEN GARDEN FOR NOVEMBER.—Dig
deep into the vegetable and fruit rows to see how every thing is getting on. If
not satisfied, say so. To save expense, transplant your neighbor's available
shrubs to your own garden. Select good dry soil for Greek roots.
TO SAVE A PERSON FROM
DROWNING.—Run to him at once. Throw your great-coat over him, roll the patient
in it until quite dry, at the rate of two shillings an hour. Stamp on his hands
and face to restore animation, and drink his health in several glasses of stiff
ASK BARON BRAMWELL.—When a judge
retires from the bench may he be said to "lay down the law?"
read a dramatic criticism which, in speaking of the omission of the music of an
operetta, said that " it suffered from the injudicious application of the
harmonic pruning-knife!" Harmonic pruning-knife is good; but did not the critic
mean to say harmonic tuning-fork?
EASILY PLEASED.—The individual
who told his physician, the other day, that he was perfectly satisfied he had
consumption, is the same who, a few years ago, was transported with delight.
THE PANGS OF ABSENCE.—The French
say with great truth, "The Absent are always in the wrong; and more especially
are they, when they forget to send you a Money-Order to console one for their
absence.—A Poor PENELOPE
of a wife, abandoned by her
wretch of a ULYSSES at the Sea-side.
ADVICE TO BACKBITERS.—The
Hunchback does not see his own hunch, but he sees clearly the hunch of another
hunchback. Therefore, it is as well to know what there is at our own back before
we venture to laugh behind the backs of others.
A bankrupt was condoled with the
other day for his embarrassment. "Oh, I'm not embarrassed at all," said he;
"it's may creditors that are embarrassed."
An Irish guide told Dr. James
Johnson, who wished for a reason why Echo was always of the feminine gender,
that "Maybe was because she always had the last word."
"Johnny," said a mother to a son
nine years old, "go and wash your face. I am ashamed to see you coming to dinner
with so dirty a mouth." "I did wash it mamma;" and feeling his upper lip, he
added, gravely, "I think it must be a mustache coming!"
A Glasgow antiquary recently
visited Cathcart Castle, and asked one of the villagers "if he knew any thing of
an old story about the building?" "Ay," said the rustic, "there was anither auld
storey, but it fell down lang since."
Harry Turn recently married his
cousin, of the same name. When interrogated as to why he did so, he replied that
it had always been a maxim of his, that " one good Turn deserves another."
Every household has its pet
names. Mr. Jones enchants his helpmate by calling her his "idol." Jones,
however, privately spells it i-d-l-e. Mrs. Jones is a nice woman—an affectionate
woman—but she has a constitutional aversion to working.
" Julius, was you ever in
business ?" "In course I vas." "What business?" "A sugar planter." "When was
that, my colored friend?" "Der day I buried dat old sweet-heart of mine."
"Mr. D-, if you will get my coat
done by next Saturday I shall be forever indebted to you." "It won't be done,"
said the tailor, "upon such terms."
Miss Tucker says it's with old
bachelors as with old wood; it is hard to get them started, but when they do
take flame they burn prodigiously.
An old woman met in the street a
friend whom she had not seen for a long time. "Oh, my friend!" she cried, "how
are you since I saw you last ? Was it you or your sister that died some months
ago ? I saw it in the paper." "It was my sister," replied simplicity. "We were
both sick; she died, but I was the worst."
Soon after the death of the poet
Wordsworth, a gentleman met a farmer of the neighborhood, and said to him, "You
have had a great loss." "What loss?" "Why, you have lost the great poet." "Oh
ay," said the farmer, "he is dead; but ah hev ne doubt t'wife 'll carry on t'
business, and mak' it as profitable as ivver it was."
DO YOU GIVE IT UP?
Why is it reasonable to suppose
that tight-rope dancers are in general great favorites with the public ?
Because their performance is
always encored (on cord). If you have a son going up for a competitive
examination, why should he study the letter P?
Because it can make an ass pass
The beginning of eternity,
The end of time and space,
The beginning of every end,
And the end of every race.
Why does a duck put its head
For divers reasons (divers).
Why does he take it out ?
For sundry reasons (sun dry).
Why is an oyster a practical
Because it has a beard without a
chin, and you take him from his bed before you tuck him in.
WANTED. — A lifeboat that will
float on a "sea of troubles."
KEEPING THE LAW. —There was an
old Quaker who had an unfortunate reputation of non-resistance. It was said that
any one could jostle him, tread on his toes, or tweak his nose with impunity;
until one market-day a blustering fellow, being told that yonder was a man who,
if he was smitten on one cheek would turn the other also, thought it would be
sport to try him. Stepping up
to the sturdy, good-natured
Friend, he slapped his face. The old man looked at him sorrowfully for a moment,
then slow1y turned his other cheek, and received another buffet. Upon that, he
coolly pulled off his coat. " I have cleared the law," said he, "and now thee
must take it." And he gave the cowardly fellow a tremendous thrashing.
Parr was severe on Scotchmen. Jordan, in his "Reminiscences," preserves this
specimen of his brutality: "I do not like Mackintosh; he is a Scotch dog. I hate
Scotch diode; they prowl like lurchers, they fawn like spaniels, they thieve
like greyhounds; they're sad dogs, and they're mangy into the bargain, and they
stink like pigs."
"I have very little respect for
the ties of this world," as the rogue said when the rope was put round his neck.
Cooke, the tragedian, was in the
habit of giving passes to a widow lady, who was once sitting in the pit with her
little girl, when their friend, the performer, was about to be stabbed by his
stage rival. Roused by the supposed imminence of his danger, the girl started
up, exclaiming, "Oh, don't kill him!—don't kill him! For if you do, he won't
give us any more pit orders!"
"Husband, do you believe in
special judgments of Providence upon individuals in this life?"
" Yes, my dear."
"Do you, indeed? Did one of the
judgments ever happen to you?"
"When was it, husband?"
"When I married you, my dear."
Two Irishmen were recently
looking at people stretching a rope across the street from one house-top to
another, for the purpose of suspending a banner.
PAT. "Shure and what will they be
after a doing at the tops of them houses there?"
MICH. "Faith an' it's a submarine
telegraph they're afther putting up, I suppose."
FOR a full account of the
Bombardment of the Forts at
South Carolina, and the performance of
the great Expedition generally, see
page 762; for an account of the
the rebels Mason and Slidell see
PANIC AT THE SOUTH.
The panic in Savannah, consequent
upon the success of our naval expedition at
Beaufort, is said to be terrific.
The desertion of the city was so rapid and extensive that the papers were
calling upon the authorities to arrest the flight of able-bodied men under sixty
years of age. Great consternation is said to exist all along the Southern coast.
The people are represented as fleeing from all the towns and villages on the
sea-board. A dispatch to the Richmond Enquirer, however, dated front
on the 14th, says that
General Sherman, had taken possession of Pinckney
AFFAIRS IN KENTUCKY.
Our advices from Kentucky are of
the highest importance.
General Albert S. Johnston, lately appointed to the
command of the rebel army of
the Mississippi, is reported to he advancing into
the State at the head of forty thousand men, for the purpose of making a descent
Louisville, Lexington, or perhaps
General Thomas has
ordered the National troops at Camp Calvert to fall back to Danville, where the
National forces will concentrate to oppose the progress of the rebels.
Zollicoffer is understood to have united his forces with those of Johnston,
leaving only a few hundred men at
Cumberland Gap, while Cumberland Ford is
RISING OF UNION MEN IN TENNESSEE.
The Unionists of East Tennessee
appear to be terribly in earnest in their hostility to the rebel rule which has
recently been forced upon them ; and their operations in cutting off the
communications of the rebel armies, by destroying the railroad bridges and the
telegraph lines, are creating the greatest trepidation in the rebel camps in
Southern Kentucky. The long and costly bridge near
Nashville, over the
Cumberland River, has recently been burned, and the position of the rebel army
Bowling Green is thus rendered doubly dangerous. A dispatch from Nashville in
the Norfolk Day Book, announces the burning of six other bridges—two on the
Georgia State Road over Chicamange Creek; one on the East Tennessee and Georgia
Railroad, over the Hiawassee River; two on the Tennessee and Georgia Railroad
over Sick Creek, and one over the Holstein River. Matters in East Tennessee, the
dispatch states, are in a critical condition, and " much anxiety is felt for
THE ARMY IN MISSOURI FALLING
The divisions of
Sturgis have taken the route by way of Warsaw, and those of
Siegel and Asboth, after moving a short distance south as a feint to cover the
retirement of the main body, have returned to
Springfield, and are to proceed to
St. Louis, via Rolla. Springfield, it is announced, is to be entirely evacuated,
and the Union men of that city and the surrounding country have already left or
are preparing to leave, not caring to trust themselves again to the tender
mercies of the rebels.
General Halleck arrived in St.
Louis on 18th, and will immediately assume command of the Western Department.
PRICE AND McCULLOCH GOING INTO
A dispatch from St. Louis
announces positively that the rebel armies of
Ben McCulloch have
retreated into Arkansas, with the intention of going into winter-quarters at
Fort Smith, where accommodations have been built. Before leaving Missouri they
burned all the hay-stacks and corn-cribs in the vicinity, to prevent our forces
from obtaining forage in case of pursuit.
FREMONT'S OFFICERS ARE SAID TO
The St. Louis Evening News states that while
Fremont's train was on its way from Springfield to that
city, it was met between Warsaw and Springfield by Captain James A. Swain,
of the Quarter-master's Department, with the United States mail for Springfield.
One of the officers in the train of the returning General took two of the bags
from Captain Swain, in spite of his protestations, cut them open and overhauled
their contents. When Captain
Swain remonstrated against this
outrage the perpetrator threatened him with arrest. The desecrated mail bags
have been brought back to St. Louis and deposited at the Post-office.
OCCUPATION OF ACCOMAC AND
NORTHAMPTON COUNTIES, VIRGINIA.
General Dix has ordered 4000 of
his troops from Baltimore to march into and locate themselves in Accomac and
Northampton Counties, Virginia. It is said that Accomac County is loyal, and
will receive the troops, but that Northampton County is disposed to resist them.
General Dix has issued a most important proclamation, stating that the object of
the advance of his troops is to maintain the authority of the Government, to
protect the people and restore commerce to its original channel; that no one
held to service under the laws of the State shall be interfered with, and that
unless resistance is offered no fireside will be molested.
AFFAIRS IN WESTERN VIRGINIA.
The reports from
Rosecrans in Western Virginia are very cheering. They state that General Cox's
brigade crossed the Kanawha and New rivers on the 10th inst., and drove the
rebels back three miles from all their positions. General Benham also had a
skirmish with the rebels, and after compelling them to retreat, he followed them
for twenty-five miles, and failing to come up with them, he fell back. Colonel
Grogan, of the rebel cavalry, and a few others were killed. General Benham lost
only two men in the engagement.
ANOTHER ATTACK ON BILLY WILSON
The rebels recently made another
attempt to capture
Billy Wilson's Zouaves, on
Santa Rosa Island, but their
failure was even more humiliating than on the first occasion. It appears that
Colonel Wilson's patrols discovered some fifteen hundred rebel troops about
twenty miles from
Fort Pickens, and immediately informed the commander of the
National fleet, who sent a force and shelled the rebels off the island with
CAPTURE OF A FORAGING PARTY.
The only item of news from the
army of the Potomac relates to the capture of a portion of a foraging party by
rebel cavalry near
Fall's Church. Thirty-five out of fifty of our men, including
the two officers in command, were taken prisoners and carried off.
RE-ELECTION OF DAVIS AND
The election for President and
Vice-President of the Southern Confederacy has resulted in the almost unanimous
Jeff Davis and Alexander H. Stephens, the present incumbents.
COTTON AT NEW ORLEANS.
The New Orleans Bulletin says
there is cotton enough in that port to load all vessels that choose to run the
blockade and come up to the city.
ARREST OF SENATOR GWIN AND
The Pacific mail steamer which arrived here last week from California
brought Senator Gwin, Calhoun Benham, and another rebel as prisoners, on charge
of treasonable practices.
General Sumner, who was on board the steamer, made the
arrests, and brought the three parties with him to this city. Gwin and Benham
have since been sent to
SHOT-PROOF VESSELS FOR THE SOUTH.
Norfolk papers contain an
advertisement from S. R. Mallory, the rebel Secretary of the Navy, asking for
proposals for the construction of four sea-going iron-clad and ball-proof steam
ram-ships, to carry at, least four guns each.
YANCEY GIVES IT UP.
A letter from W. L. Yancey to his
son in Alabama has been found on the person of a Mr. James Brown, arrested as a
secessionist in Boston last week. Mr. Yancey speaks very discouragingly of the
prospects of either England or France recognizing the independence of the
AFFAIRS OF HUNGARY.
THE Emperor of Austria has
addressed an autograph letter to the Chancellor of Hungary, directing a
suspension of the civil offices.
THE EUROPEAN EXPEDITION.
The Cuban Government is exerting
its full power in aid of the expedition for the invasion of Mexico. The Spanish
troops, to the number of 8000 men, and a number of transports, are ready to
leave, and only await additional war vessels from Spain and the French
contingent. The Mexicans are in a high state of excitement at the news. Threats
have been made that on the firing of the first gun by the Spaniards the Mexicans
will fall upon and murder every Spaniard in the country. The Spanish commander,
it is said, also threatens, in case any Spaniards are injured, to lay
in ashes. The country is most thoroughly disorganized, and Marquez has again
LOSS OF THE " NORTH BRITON."
The accounts given in the
Canadian papers regarding the loss of the North Briton are exceedingly meagre.
The following is the substance of the details given: From the time that the
vessel left Quebec until she ran ashore the weather was extremely rough, strong
easterly gales prevailing. When the ship grounded it was pitch dark, with a
strong wind blowing; and she labored so that fears were entertained that she
would go to pieces every minute. The boats were got out as soon as possible, and
this is all that is said concerning the wreck. Sixteen of the officers and crew
were in two boats, which went adrift shortly after the North Briton struck. Both
boats were knocked about in a fearful sea for two days, when one of them, to
which the eight men on board the other had been transferred, was picked up, on
the 7th instant, by the J. G. Deshler, a brigantine bound from Liverpool to
Cleveland. This was 350 miles below Quebec. The only additional fact concerning
the wreck is that the North Briton ran straight on the rocks at Mingan, and is
grounded by the bow in twelve feet of water.
STOUT PRIVATE. " Oh Jem, I wish
I'd your LEGS!"
LEAN PRIVATE. " Why so, Bill ?"
STOUT PRIVATE. " Because I could
RUN from the first battle, and then they'd be sure to elect me SHERIFF or
Alderman or maybe Mayor of New York."